My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
