roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
