The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
