clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
