matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just cropdusted the office
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
