No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
