Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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