he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
