walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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