This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
