I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
