so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
