I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
