I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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