Soap is not a condiment
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
