So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
