i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This is classic penis vs brain.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
