and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
