ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
