Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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