Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The ass gains better be worth it
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