doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
