TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
