worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
