My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
