How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
