I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
