This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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