so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
