Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
