Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
