It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
