There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
