so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
