i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
