I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
