He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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