So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
The power of my boobs compel you
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
