Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
