she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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