just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
