I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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