WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
