First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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