And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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