Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Your cock deserves a montage
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
