Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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