belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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