my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
