So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I stole a fireplace last night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
