it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
