If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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