I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
