So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
