her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
